So, I've been friends with this couple a LONG time (14 and 9 years respectively). They're like family. They've watched my kids plenty and supported me during some pretty dark days. We haven't seen them as much lately, but I've been trying to make the effort. They have two really young kids (4&2), and I know how tough it is to just see friends with 2 that age so we've been going over more often lately, the last time being this last Sunday.

Ladies... I have never seen such a mess in my life. Like I'm a slob. I mop my floors once every 3 months. Fridge gets cleaned 2-3x a year. Laundry piles until it spills on the floor. You know where I'm coming from. I could give a shit less whether the floor has been vacuumed or there are piles of dishes in the kitchen or the bathroom badly needs to be scrubbed. What I'm talking about defies general uncleanliness. They have always been pack rats, I've never known them to have their place organized in a pleasing, cohesive way. There's always piles of... stuff... just lurking on top of shelves/dressers/desks and shit that just for whatever reason they refuse to get rid of. Now there's that, and soooo much more. Garbage heaps of papers and rotting food and old diapers mixed in with clothes and other toys. Old juice and milk spills never cleaned up. Bags of garbage piled by the door. Toys and books EVERYWHERE. I could barely walk. I even cut my foot on a pin or some broken glass. Even my son who is a kid and gives zero fucks was visibly uncomfortable and spent most of our visit hanging in the backyard with the little ones. Within 15 minutes of being there I volunteered to help them clean up and spent about 2.5 hours doing so. In that time I'd say we got half of the living room done and it was still in rough shape- basically at the point where I would consider my living room a disaster and start furiously cleaning it.

So you'd think the solution is obvious right? Just get over there and help them get it all done. Well, there's 2 problems with that plan. The first is that my best friend was there only a month ago to help them clean up, and she said it was a complete shitshow then, but she spent all day helping them get it into shape, and it was as good as it ever gets when she was there. So clearly it's not just a matter of the whole thing being too overwhelming and needing to get a good start- it's cyclical. I would not be surprised if it hadn't been cleaned since she was there. It was BAD.

The second is their aforementioned hoarder natures. While I was running around scooping up garbage they stopped me from throwing out several things that I deemed unquestionably trash- a crumpled newspaper, a bent and torn birthday card, and a broken keyring. Now, I like to do crafts and I keep things that I feel like they may one day come in handy, but I have craft bins for that stuff. They don't have a filing system or organization for their craft stuff, so stuff just gets strewn everywhere. Never mind the fact that the stuff they have that is actually useful and they have an immediate use for is already TOO MUCH. They've got to start making tough decisions regarding that stuff so their place is actually livable. If any people could benefit from Marie Kondo's philosophies it's these two but they are soooo resistant to it.

Their kids are doing great from what I can tell, very bright cheerful kids, but their living situation is not healthy. I know everyone's place is a disaster when they have tiny children and I am not judging them. But it's just plain untenable. You at least need to get rid of hazards and create walking room in your domicile, right? I'm REALLY not interested in calling CPS on them because I know how stressful that would be, and they are loving, wonderful parents in all areas except this one. The kids aren't neglected or anything. But how else can I help? I'm just at a loss.