Husband and I have always had minor communication issues. Much of the time this is not an issue, however, sometimes it can feel like a deal breaker.

Recently I have been feeling neglected and unheard in our marriage. So I figured "hey, I'll be direct" can't go wrong with that, right? About 2 months ago I ask husband to buy me flowers, or chocolate, anything. Honestly if he even gave me a rock and said it made him think of me I'd be elated. I also asked that he plan a date for us to go on.

His response was to make it a joke and tell me to go watch How I Met Your Mother. His reasoning was that the characters go on crazy dates,or something. No response on the flowers front. Also, yeah,I know was ting flowers is kind of dumb, but fuck it, I like them. (Or, I would like them if he ever got me any)

Moving to more recently. We have had a couple conversations since where I reiterated my concerns and made it clear they we're important to me. He never seems to change his behavior or respond beyond defending himself.

This weekend I asked again about the date. His response was "didn't I just ask if you wanted to something this weekend?". To be fair he had just asked, but that's not planning a date. That's asking me to plan a date where he gets to act like he doesn't even want to be out with me! In fact om our last date we actually skipped the book fair I wanted to go to since parking would suck. Instead we went to an outdoor mall thing where he said he'd go into any one place I wanted.

As for the flowers/chocolate/rock/anything he's done nothing. In fact I spent last week really craving apple cider, he stopped at a store that had some and told me he thought about buying it but then thought nah. His exact words, knowing I had been to three stores already and had been out with my mother and 9 month daughter all day while she had oral surgery.

Other topics have also come up. Such as him seemingly ignoring the baby and getting upset with her for just doing normal baby things. Seriously dude, don't leave your fucking laptop where she can touch it. Don't be surprised if she cries when you ignore her and watch judo on your computer...etc...

Finally my point, I asked a week ago of he would do couples counseling. I've tried to not bring it up much but today he finally gave his answer. Firm no, he doesn't think we need to. He says he'll read a book if I want.

I know this all sounds so petty on my end, but it hurts when the relationship feels so one sided. As a stay at home mom I take care of everyone, I don't have a choice and , really, I don't mind. But something to show appreciation would go so far. Even just typing this out is making me cry.

So I guess, does anyone have any advice? How do I get him to hear me? And,also, any book recommendations? Maybe something on emotional labor? He's already read the five love languages.

Tldr- Husband is dense, oh so very dense. He won't do therapy but said he'd read a book. Any good book recommendations about marriage?