I make twice as much income as he does and I own the house we live in. He doesn't have much to take. But yes I should absolutely be having him leave.

I've actually spoken to his ex girlfriend who he was with before me. He had told me she was crazy - that she would tear doors of their hinges, etc. She was not crazy at all when I spoke to her though. She had a similar story to me - nothing is good enough. She described it as emotional whiplash, which is totally accurate. He'd be so loving and attentive one minute and then so mean the next. I'm certain he drove her to do those things.

She is a hairdresser and she stopped taking male clients because of the implications he would make all the time. She couldn't go to work without it being insinuated that inappropriate things were going on between her and her clients. It's the same as me with my work obligations. She said it sounds like I have it much worse though with the trouble I get into at the gym and with my bodybuilding competitions.

Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I really appreciate it. I'm concerned with documenting anything because my behavior has been so reactive and unhinged lately as a response to the constant criticism.

And yes, I do think his pride is damaged by me. We work in the same industry but I'm in management and he is in a lower position. I go to conferences and meetings with managers from his company.

I compete in bodybuilding competitions. He comes to the gym with me but doesn't have the discipline to stick to a program like I do, so he's jealous of the success I've had recently. He gets easily intimidated by other men who work out. I try to relate by telling him that I get insecure around other younger attractive women at the gym but he rolls his eyes and doesn't believe me or says I'm crazy for being worried about other people.

I have a divorce agreement drawn up already. We don't have combined bank accounts or credit cards. I agree that ultimately I will be more at peace if he is gone. I just can't get the thought out of my head though that if he leaves he will immediately find someone else.

I own the house so he will have to be the one to leave.

He was supposed to be going on a hunting trip for a week right away. I was planning on moving his stuff out onto the driveway while he's gone. But now the trip might be cancelled so I'm not sure how to go about it. I wanted to just do it on my own time and cause him some stress when he returns from the trip.

Thank you. I do feel like I'm being emotionally abused. I can't bring up things that have happened that bother me because it makes him annoyed and frustrated with me. But then he gets so concerned and protective when I'm doing things like work functions where there are other men.

Just last week he couldn't sleep one night because he was so worried about me going to a seminar the next day. He said he knows how he looks at me and how he sees me and he thinks other men will be swarming me when I go anywhere. He was so attentive that morning and said he will do anything I want, give me what I need, and that he knows he needs to be a better man for me. I got texts all morning about how much he loves me and appreciates me.

But now here we are again. I'm in trouble for having things on my mind that made my good mood slightly less good.

I'm not too worried about documenting anything. It would be a very clean and easy divorce.

Yes that's what I meant. I always get questioned about this kind of thing. If I go anywhere that I will be interacting with men. He never asks about my day as though he's interested in what I did or what I learned, etc. He asked things like who was there, was I the only woman, who did I sit with, did anyone creepy approach me, who did I talk to, etc.

Then when I ask why he's saying those things, he'll say he is just "curious" about my day. So I will say why not ask about my actual work, not the people I was around. All the men I interact with professionally are creepy, clowns, jokers, assholes, etc. when he describes them.

Just knowing him, he'd play the victim and walk away as a wounded animal. Wronged by a woman.

He's threatened to call the police or an ambulance on me several times recently because of how upset I get. But it's always as a result of him being awful towards me when something is wrong and I try to talk to him about it. It's devastating to be pushed away by someone you love when you go to them with a problem you want to resolve.

That's so interesting! I get accused of checking out other guys almost daily. I have to be so careful of where I look, especially at the gym. I was in constant trouble at my competition on the weekend because we were surrounded by other competitors the whole time. I couldn't glance anywhere without catching a "hot guy" (according to my husband) in my line of sight. And my husband does the thing too where he accuses me of being into guys half my age. As though a 20 year old is appealing to me as a woman in her 40s. It's insane.

Thank you for saying those nice things.

Thank you and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this as well.