I've been married for a few months. I am 41F and he is 43M. This is a second marriage for both of us.

There are so many things that are wrong with this relationship that I can't even get into much detail, so here are some highlights:

He is incredibly insecure and is always accusing me of having nefarious motives for things I do. He won't actually come out and say what he means but he will make bizarre insinuations. If I go to a work function out of town, it's to meet other men. If I go in to work early, I must be having an affair with a coworker. If I go to the gym alone, it's to talk to other men. If I take my kids to drop them off with their dad alone, I must have something going on with my ex husband.

I am a bodybuilder so I go to the gym every day. He started eating right and working out when he met me and he's slowly making some progress. He's insecure about his level of fitness though. We can't go to the gym without him accusing me of trying to get attention from other men or looking at other men. I have to be so careful not to so much as accidentally glance in another man's direction. I walk with my head down and look at the wall between sets, when I used to be able to sit there and look around the room and people watch before. But if I look around the room now, I'm "checking out" the men there. If any new guys start coming who are fit, he will accuse me of being interested in them. If he doesn't come with me for some reason, I will get a text while I'm there asking if the "new dude" is there, or saying I must be having an extended workout because the "audience" is good. He has told me my gym clothes are slutty and said how can he blame other men for looking at me with the way I dress?

If we go anywhere in public I have to be so careful to not look in any man's direction. For example, we were at a trampoline park on the weekend and the place was packed. I knew I would be in trouble the second we walked in because there were obviously lots of families there, including husbands/fathers. I was so careful the whole time and made a point of only looking at my husband and our kids. But just before we left, I looked back over my shoulder as a crowd of people walked by. My husband got a very displeased look on his face and stormed out. When I asked him what was wrong, he said that he saw me "check out the big muscular guy in the maroon sweater". He said that he *knows* I'm into bigger guys and it hurts his feelings. I had no idea what guy he was referring to because there were so many people there.

This kind of thing happens all the time - at the grocery store, coffee shop, my kids' school, etc. If I look around the room and there happens to be someone who my husband considers to be attractive in my line of sight, I am in trouble.

If we are driving through town and I turn my head to look out the window, he will make a big show of turning in the same direction and say "What are we looking at? Hot guy out there or what?" If we pass a nice truck and I happen to turn my head at the same time, he will say something like "Oh you just have to see who's driving that hey? Sorry I can't afford trucks like that anymore. I used to be able to."

At a recent bikini competition I was in, he accused me of being there solely to meet the male bodybuilders and watch them compete. By this time I had been training intensely for TWO YEARS, but apparently it was only to get to this competition to meet men. The night before the competition he wouldn't stop accusing me of trying to get rid of him so I could talk to other men. He had been planning on going to the mall while I did hair and makeup, tanning, check ins with my trainer, etc., so he thought I would actually be up to no good while he was at the mall. I almost told him to just go home if he wouldn't stop. He would finally apologize and then backtrack and say "But I do know that you and the other women are planning on watching the men compete."

What killed me is that he met and started following a 19-year-old girl on Instagram that day. She had the same trainer as me so he met her while I was talking to my trainer and the group we were with. I didn't see that he had followed her until months after when I went to her profile to refer back to something she had posted. I was so disgusted. He didn't follow any of the other women (like the ones my age or older who he met). He had kept talking about her and how it was great she won her category and such at the competition so I thought it was a bit weird, but pushed those thoughts aside. She only posts pictures of herself posing in bikinis on her Instagram. My husband has a daughter her age. His explanation was that he found her to be "inspirational" and that he followed her for his daughter's sake.

I won my categories (two gold medals and a professional bodybuilder status) at this competition. My picture is on promotional posters for future competitions now. I've gotten a lot of attention because of this and became a bit of a local celebrity at our hometown gym. He hates it when people congratulate me or tell me how good I look.

I'm a chartered accountant and have a successful career. He is jealous of this because I make twice as much money as he does and have a more demanding work schedule, more responsibilities and more authority than he does. I play piano for my church and my kids' schools when needed. He used to like how busy I am and how much I contribute to the community. But now he makes so many underhanded comments about it. He gets jealous when I get compliments about my piano playing as well.

I could go on and on about his jealousy, insecurities, etc. And also his online behavior is gross. He has a friend who does photography - mainly women's boudoir and portraits. My husband follows his Facebook page and then either searches the women's profiles or even goes so far as to add them as friends. I only recently discovered this.

I am nervous a good chunk of the time because I get scared about what his reaction will be if I say I'm going somewhere or doing something. I can't talk to him about my day much because he doesn't like that my job is "important" than his in his mind.

But then he can be the kindest and most supportive person. He will turn around and tell me how impressed he is by me and how lucky he is to have me, etc. He will help out with my kids, driving them to sports, school, etc. So it's a roller coaster. I know I should leave but it's so hard to get away when I have good times too.