My eldest (boy-11) is now having daily arguements with me that boil down to if I ask him to do something (previsouly agreed chores, get off his laptop for bed, take the inhaler he needs to breath) it's proof I don't love him or care about him.

How? Why? What the duck do I do?

He's had anger issues since early 2020 and we've worked hard at trying to help him find ways to work through that but nothing seems to be working.
We've had him checked for Autism and he doesn't show enough markers for them to consider a follow up.
99% of the time he's a great big brother.
When he's calm he's a great kid in general and will happily do chores and stick to screen-time rules. But if he percieves an unfairness in how he's been treated, even if he's totally wrong. All hell breaks loose. He's never physically volent towards people but he will throw things, slam doors, scream and his new favourite: Announce that no one cares about him.

I don't know what to do with him anymore. We've not gone down the traditional therpay route yet because bullying at school meant his confidence was shot and we didn't want to add to the "something is wrong with me" narrative in his head. Instead we had him in a yoga based therapy for a few months which has improved his self confidence but despite saying he enjoys it he's now fighting about going.