I am the sort of person that lets anxiety rule most things I do, and I am constantly scared of going outside of my comfort zone. But I am also the type of person that wants to be able to try new things and get active, SO badly. I'm turning 30 in a few days and have been in crisis mode, realizing I run away from everything I'm interested in, just because I don't want to fail or embarrass myself.

For the first time pretty much ever, after countless failed attempts at losing weight, I finally have lost almost all the weight I was hoping to and I've been really proud of myself for these healthy lifestyle changes. I've cut down on drinking significantly, cook healthier at home, and have been feeling really good about these changes.

I've always sort of off and on worked out, meaning I'd do a few days of online videos or gone to the gym for a week, then stopped. Exercise is the one thing I've never really kept up with. Anytime I'd go on a hike with friends I'd be way behind everyone, struggling to breath because of my asthma. I've started walking really often, trying to hit 10k a day, which has been really great for my mental health. But now that I've lost this weight, I really want to pick up a new hobby. And I want it to be active. I've never thrived in the gym or doing a youtube video. I just get so bored, and I'd much prefer some sort of active hobby that keeps me engaged and learning more.

This is where bouldering comes in. I've always seen mutuals posting about it, and always thought "wow, I wish I could do that". And then never tried. CLASSIC ME. Now that I'm feeling lighter and a bit healthier, I think i'm ready to make this jump. I've spoken to a few friends and found folks that would go with me! With this being said, I am TERRIFIED. Like, crippling anxiety terrified. I'm incredibly weak, in every sense of the word lol. No upper body, lower body, core, no strength at all. My cardio is god awful, and I have asthma. Not to mention I'm only 5'3. I'm so scared of embarrassing myself. I'm also quite scared of heights. I realize I'm sort of limiting myself by just listing a bunch of excuses as to why I think I couldn't do it... and that's not helpful at all. But I'm really scared I'm gonna talk myself out of it before taking an intro course next week. There is where I need some help.

Has anyone else dealt with overcoming these fears, or have any words of encouragement? Any tips? I really don't want to live my life in fear anymore. I've never stuck to anything in my life. Thank you in advance. :)