Finding new friends as an adult is like trying to find a shred of hope in a dystopian novel—difficult, rare, and almost definitely doomed to disappointment. I’m here to find someone who’s up for enjoying the basics of life, like a casual stroll or a meal. If we stumble upon something deeper, that’s a bonus.

About me:

I consider myself a hardworking person who likes to lend a hand when possible, owns a home, and maintains a generally sunny disposition. My humor tastes are dark with a side of corny, because why settle for one when you can have both? I’m a bit of a wallflower in large crowds silently judging everyone from the sidelines but turn into a social butterfly in smaller gatherings.

My hobbies include spending time outdoors, like wandering around aimlessly, cycling, indulging in music (both recorded and live), archery, cooking, and devouring the latest show like it’s a buffet of cultural significance. I work from home, which means I’ve mastered the art of flexibility and accumulated 10-15 extra pounds—my tribute to a sedentary lifestyle. I’m good-looking in a ‘broad-shouldered, dad-bod’ kind of way. I’m still in decent shape, if by decent you mean “adequate for someone who forgot what the inside of a gym looks like.”

What I’m looking for:

As the title suggests, I’m after a friend, activity partner, or someone to join me for lunch or dinner. I’d like to meet someone who shares some of my interests and brings their own to the table so we can swap stories about how we both have no idea what we’re doing with our lives. Ideally, we’ll build a connection and hang out semi-regularly, though I understand that life is a series of unpredictable events and existential crises. While I’m open to the possibility of something more, it’s not my primary focus. Also, please live within a 30-minute drive because meeting up should not involve a complex logistical plan worthy of a heist movie.

What I’d like if you reached out:

Give me a glimpse into your life—your situation, intentions, interests, and maybe a physical description too? We can chat and see if there’s a spark. If not, a simple “Not interested” or “Sorry, this isn’t for me” will save us both from the ghosting phenomenon. If we hit it off, we can swap more details or meet up for a dose of existential escapism.

If my profile has managed to pierce through your daily monotony, send me a reddit chat. Feel free to ask any questions, I promise I’m not secretly plotting to take over your playlist, just here to meet someone interesting and provide witty commentary and occasional bad puns.