I go to this bar about once a week. And I'm friends with just about anyone who will sit next to me. But I can't seem to create a relationship with the bartender at all. I know it's my fault I get in my own head about it. I keep telling myself to just need cool, or calm down or just to not think and just talk, but nothing good ever comes out. I just say something dismissive or maybe it's more accurate to say it has a dismissive tone. Or maybe maybe I'll try to tell but someone else needs a drink. It just always feels so unnatural to speak to them. It seems like them being a bartender is a bit of an issue for me. Not to mention they are super well liked at the karaoke bar, so obviously I would want them to like me so I can better fit in to the group. In addition to that, we are the opposite sex, so it's hard to tip, or ask about what they have going on this weekend without thinking that they are going to think I'm hitting in them. And finally, their voice is amazing! The bar has Karaoke and the first time I walked in it almost felt like an opera. It was genuinely moving.

Anyways. How do I fix myself? What's the first step? How do I be less in my own head, or maybe bartenders need a different approach than everyone else at the bar?

Any advice, input, observations would be just lovely. Thanks!

Update: Yo, it's cool. I just showed up and didn't mention anything and was just suuuuper chill. And it worked.