So last night I was hanging out with a friend (a Chicana woman) at my place who I would normally consider a very conscious and 'woke' individual. We often discuss issues of race surrounding and affecting the black and brown communities so this was just like any normal day.

So we start talking about usage of the word 'nigga'. She has used the word once or twice before, to my offense. Last night, she was deriding someone in her friend group (a white girl), for using the term "nigga/er". I quipped with something about how she uses it as well, and how very ironic it was that she was complaining about it now. She then begins to explain nigga to me. This Chicana woman, explaining nigga to a Black person. OK. Let's see how this goes. She starts off by saying how her 'friend' claimed to be using the hard '-er' in its "original" usage of ignorant person (lol--no evidence of that, but okay). I told her that regardless, I don't feel like it's a word that any non-Black person has a right to decide on who gets to say, its use, and/or its definition. It's just simply not your word. I asked her if she would be cool if I started using racial epithets that are discriminatory against Chicano people. She said it would be fine with her if she knew that I "didn't mean anything by it". I had to clarify, I'm like "really? you would be totally cool with that?" She says, "yes". Shaking my head in disbelief, I remind her that this doesn't change my opinion of who uses nigga but, whatever.

Then she brings up this strange argument--that she wouldn't call people of the LGBTQI community 'queer' because as someone who isn't of that community she doesn't get to decide on its usage or definition. So what makes 'nigga' different? Being a POC doesn't make you Black.

She then begins to explain to me that nigga was first used in rap songs (even a simple google search will debunk this and show usage before rap was popularized--but ok), and that (here's my favorite part) because some Black people in the hood told her it was okay to say nigga, its okay. I told her one subsection of a large group of people does not speak for the entire population. She repeats, "well they said it was okay to say nigga". She then gives me a shrug and a look as if to negate everything that came out of my mouth and my personal feelings on the matter.

She then concludes it with a "but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that." I grew up in a pretty affluent area, so you know, because I didn't grow up in the hood, how could I possibly know anything about Black culture and identity? And let's ignore the fact that I actually majored in Black Studies, but you know, apparently I just don't know anything.

I guess what hurt the most is that it all of this came from another POC. sigh.