lately i’ve been sitting with the fact that i feel envy towards non black women because they never had the stereotype of being or looking masculine and coming off aggressive. it’s hard not to compare myself when they’re looked at more softer. im also in the process of moving away because i live with a grandma who isn’t in touch with her femininity and womanhood and it feels it’s been affecting my own esteem not being able to embrace my own. i’m on a journey as well to decenter men because i know that’s a cause of these feelings and guy friends i befriended in the past i realized those relationships didn’t make me feel secure and made me feel loved and seen as a black woman