Hi everyone,
I wanted to relate my experience at my local gym recently. Mostly to vent, but anonymous Internet advice is always welcome, I guess.

I've been training a little over 5 years. Brown belt. Always been reasonably obsessive with hobbies, doubly so with jiu-jitsu. I probably trained 6x/week on average over the 5 years and have taught a weekly class since purple belt. I like to think of myself as affable, but realistically I'm probably a bit of a loudmouth. (I've never interrupted a coach during class, but I'm a safe bet to be laughing and joking with people when getting changed) I'm mentioning this to try and give and honest assessment of my negative qualities as well as the positive.

On the plus side, I really do love jiu-jitsu and have helped anyone and everyone who has asked for my input over the years. I've never offered unsolicited tips and only ever given input to lower belts during my own class, or staying on the mats after another class. 

About a year ago I started a new job that quickly took a serious toll on my mental health. Long hours, management bullshit, you name it. Initially this meant I turned up late for some classes, and eventually stopped attending some completely. I never missed teaching a class.

About 6mo ago it became too much and I spiraled. I requested someone else take over my class, with appropriate notice. Then stopped jiu-jitsu completely. For those of you who have been in my situation, you can probably guess that this did not help at all and I have spent the last 6 months trying to work through some paralysing depression.

Thankfully, I believe I'm now improving and about a month ago I started turning up at my old gym again. Only to the open mat, as i did not want to put too much pressure on myself too fast. I paid the mat fee each time I trained. Honestly, it nearly made me cry to see how many people were vocally happy to see me back and told me as much. It's crazy how much depression clouds how much people mean to you.

Things were going well so I decided to start attending class again. I went to one with the head coach who was similarly happy to see me and sympathetic to the mental health issues. On that occasion I forgot my wallet, so asked and was given permission by the coach to pay double next session.

The next day I plan to turn up again, but the job made me work late. I looked at the time and realised I can make it in time for sparring but miss technique. Not ideal, but I've done this before and it has never been an issue.I turned up to the class taught by one of the other bb coaches. When there's a lull, I stepped onto the mat to say hi, ask if I could join, and to show the coach that I was paying double, as agreed with the head coach.

They told me they had heard I have not been paying for classes and that I wasn't welcome. I assumed it was a misunderstanding and tried to explain I had permission to pay double this time, but that was shut down and it was implied I had not been paying for other classes I attended. I was told to leave and call the Head coach. I won't lie, I was fucking pissed off at basically being accused of stealing from/ripping off my old club. Especially in front of everyone. But I left without raising my voice or saying anything rude.

I called the head coach the next day, who asked for some time to look into the matter. After a week I spoke to him again. He confirmed that I had not missed any payments, but then said that the other black belt did not want me training at the club anymore. Obviously I asked why, and pointed out that he had been wrong that I had not paid. Apparently it was that I was disrespectful that I arrived late for class and so he didn't want me back.

I pointed out that this has never been a rule, no other student has been told that either, and that its wild I'm being banned for breaking a rule nobody knows about without even having been warned first. Not going to lie I nearly broke down on the phone, as it felt like just as I was pulling myself up, life kicked me down again.

The crazy thing is I always thought I got on with this guy, then I suddenly get this reaction. The head coach said they would speak to the other coach and try to convince him to change his mind and call me, but until then I can't return to class.

Apologies for the long post but that's where things stand now. It seems like the majority of the students are happy to see me training again, as is the head coach, but that this one guy clearly had an issue with me for ages but never brought it up and now issued this ultimatum. 

So that's where I stand everyone. Waiting on a phone call to see if I can return to doing what I love with my friends, and unsure how the hell I even got here.

Thanks for reading this anyhow. Thoughts or opinions welcome, but again this was mostly to vent my frustration and sadness.

TL:DR: Me sad, blackbelt mad, situation bad.

EDIT: I sent the bb a message asking to talk in person, saying I hope there has been a misunderstanding and that I always believed we had got on well. I also said I was sorry if I had offended them in any way, but I wanted to resolve things as I'd be sad if this led to me not training at that gym anymore. (It was a slightly longer message, I'm paraphrasing).

Will update if I hear back.

Thanks for the advice and kind words to most.