I am happily married to a man. I didn’t realize until my mid twenties that I sorta was interested in being with a woman at all. It started as a slight interest in having a 3some with another female and male when a girl I worked with (who was very attractive) made a comment about how she’d had threesomes and I was like.. interesting, she is super cute. After that I started watching girl on girl porn and realized how much I was turned on by it but I never had the nerve to actually go out and make something happen. I was promiscuous with men in my 20s but the opportunity to be with a girl never really presented itself so I didn’t actively pursue it. There were a couple times I went on a girls weekend with friends and a friend of a friend would be sharing a bed just to sleep and I hoped so bad she would make a move.. I met my now husband at 27 and we’ve been monogamous but I have told him my fantasies about being with a woman and we’ve watched girl on girl stuff together but over time the desire to make it a reality become stronger to the point where I fantasize about women basically almost every time we have sex. It’s almost like I can’t cum unless I’m pretending he’s a woman and the orgasms are so intense.
Recently I asked what he thought about me hooking up with a girl and he said that’s fine as long as he can watch so I said that’s fine. We also talked about a mutual fantasy of going to a sex club and letting ppl watch us, which led to the discussion of swinging. He decided that if I get to be with someone he should too and I don’t disagree with that necessarily. But I really, really want to be with a woman alone. At least once. I’m sure it’ll be great either way but I feel like I won’t feel satisfied until I’ve been with someone and can really be into it and having the guys there might not satisfy that. I am hoping that if I get to do it once I will feel like the need has been relieved bur what if I like it as much as I think I will and need it more? Anyone else been in a similar situation?