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I originally posted this on Twitter but I think it’s fun to share
Here is my unscientific ranking of the 4 branches of the US military (fuck the space force and I’ve never fucked a Coastie) based on my experiences having gay sex with them
Navy: terrible kisser, wore tighty whities. Kind of a weird guy in general but I was young and didn’t know any better. Got mad when I didn’t cum
Air Force: everything you’d expect the Air Force to be? Polite, kind of fussy and a little vain. Did physique competitions. Very thick dick, never could take it in the butt. Constantly referred to my penis as a hog to the point it was off-putting.
Marine: really fun. Kind of a goofball in a Ryan Reynolds sort of way. Was his first (two) times with a man, very curious to try things and very eager to please. Honestly not what I expected from that branch. Thrusting game was top tier in missionary.
Army: the bulk of my experiences. The army is the largest branch and so mileage may vary. The first man I had penetrative sex with was Army and he was so patient and fun. We dated for some time. Also, the BIGGEST dick I have ever sucked was Army, attached to BIGGEST moron I’ve ever hooked up with. But I had needs and he was available so mistakes were made. Also because of the Army I have had sex with TWO men who have the same first name as me
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