I (31F) just recently realized that I’m bi after falling for a woman I met at work who I think also liked me. Problem is, I’ve been married to a wonderful (31M) man (for the “you can’t be bi if you’re in a hetero relationship!!” opinion-havers, I don’t wanna hear it) for 3 years and with him for 10 years. I want to experiment but my husband isn’t into open marriage or polyamory and I want to respect his feelings. I’ve mostly just been following the butch lesbian tag on tumblr and Reddit and kind of having a second sexual awakening that way.

Those of you who sort of “discovered” your identity later in life, how did you deal with it? Did anything about your life change? If you were married, did it change anything about your marriage? I feel really stagnant and want to do something about it (compounded by the fact that I recently switched jobs and will probably never see the old coworker again or get closure on our feelings for each other), but I don’t want to wreck my marriage based on vibes. Hope this is allowed, would love some input and guidance ❤️