I don’t want to be curious anymore

I’ve been curious about having sex with guys for about 7 years now. I started playing with my ass as a teenager and really liked it. Told myself it was just a phase but it always felt too good to stop. I never was attracted to men though.

I started posting pictures of myself online to try to feel normal about my anal activities and see if any girls were into it. I would always get messages from guys telling me how hot I am and how they want to fuck me. It felt good being wanted like that so I’d play along.

After a while I started to check out subs like this and get curious about what a real cock would feel like. I began to get turned on by good looking dicks and shaved feminine looking guys. For about 7 years I’ve been thinking about hooking up with a guy and getting fucked but I’ve been too nervous to try. I kept telling myself I shouldn’t because I like women.

I’ve finally accepted that I can like both and I made a promise to myself that I would try to hook up with a guy this year. So I’ve been checking out local hookup subreddits. I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy it but I’m still super nervous. I just don’t want to regret not trying it anymore.

Idk what the point of this is. I guess just a long way to ask if someone has any advice for me?

DMs are open if you want to talk