Hello everyone,

I'm sure you all get this sort of thing very often, and so I hope you do not mind another one. I (25M) am rather conflicted on my sexuality as I think, or at least want to think, that I am bisexual but have a lot of self doubt going on thinking that its not enough for me to be bi, or that I'm faking, or just am straight but don't mind male NSFWness. The result is that I consciously think I am bi but subconsciously think that I'm not and it is not exactly the most fun place to be in.

So the journey began a few years ago in college (very original of me) when I started to be actively aware of male attraction and used anonymous chatting apps to lewdly talk with people, and I had the very convincing rationale that I just like getting people excited and that *I* certainly wasn't getting anything out of this. It progressed more actively and fantasizing came about and I started to realize in my past I had (very few) crushes on other men, (one friend from high school and one or two from college) and thats sort of when I began to wonder if I was bi. Blah Blah Blah more time passed and now here I am (approximately 5 ish years after this all started) and I am fairly certain I am bi but have a few things that are making me doubt myself. I can't get it out of my head that my 'crushes' were just circumstantial and small and passing enough to not count; most of the men I find attractive are idealized instead of real people (drawings, fan art, etc etc) and that I'm just sexually into what men tend to have and not the men themselves. Also, if I am bi then my preferences would certainly lean towards opposite attraction and that makes it feel to me that I'm faking (even though I know it doesn't) and my 'type' for men is very limited and specific so feel like its not actual attraction but rather attraction to a fantasy? But then on the other hand I'll spend hours daydreaming about having a boyfriend and cuddling/being with each other and being not safe for work with one another. And so the dilemma exacerbates itself.

SO, all that back story to say that I think I am bi but am having lots of trouble getting over the imposter syndrome, as I don't want to lessen the experience of people who are actually bi. I guess I'm not really sure what I'm asking or looking for here, but maybe just advice or other peoples experiences if they are similar or something.

It would be nice if there was an easy answer.

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Thank you all for reading my book if you did and sorry if this is too spammy or not the right way to go about asking this sort of thing. Hope it made sense and wasn't too rambling or confusing.

Have a wonderful day,

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Also side account because I am a coward