As a bi guy, every so often, an anonymous dude will hit me up asking to hookup. I always have a nice assortment of pics publicly visible on these platforms, as well as my preferences openly & clearly stated. I honestly cannot comprehend the type of person that expects a response of "ok, sure" without having a single clue as to what they look like. What's worse is that when I politely point out the absurdity of the situation, they proceed with some variant of "a mouth is a mouth, bro" or "dude, all you need to see is my a**." I'm sorry, but no. Call me Picky McPickerton all you want, but I have preferences and standards that I can only cross-check when I see your pictures. Not asking for nudes right away, or even a face shot, just something. And if you're not gonna match what type of pics I publicly show, then there's zero incentive for me to move forward. No one is entitled to anything.

This is not the same as when dating. Whether with men or women, I have never put pressure on anyone to immediately share/trade any type of pics when trying to establish a rapport for a legit relationship. It sure helps and may influence how quickly I move forward, but for hooking up, a part of me is surprised by how many push back and try to cast me as being an a-hole, picky, or rude when all I'm asking is that they be fair. I can do without the vilification for just wanting a little transparency.

One guy who claimed to be str8 went so far as to say he didn't need to show more because he's not gay and only gay guys like me need to see more because they need the emotional connection, and since since he was straight, I should just respect that. I tried to explain that I was not gay but bi, and that I never needed an emotional connection to hook up with either gender. He stuck to his guns, and by the end of the convo, called me a f**, despite initiating the whole sexual solicitation. Seriously? Who are these self-hating gluttons for punishment? If you know you're out of someone's league and want to push your luck, go for it, but not everyone is gonna even respond or be as reasonable as I am with their follow-up. But to attack me over it, or to be in such denial that you need to put me down to make yourself come out on top, is something else entirely. Do people encounter this? And for my bi sistas out there, I am well aware of how quickly guys press for nudes or swimsuit pics when trying to vet someone for a first date. Are they at least decent with the segue, or is it just thrown into the convo randomly?