I am a pan female dating another female.

Over dinner someone made a comment to us about our “lesbian relationship”. This made me uncomfortable because neither of us identify as lesbian, although we are clearly in a same-sex presenting relationship. In the moment all I could think of was to say that I wasn’t a lesbian, and I got some pretty blank stares in return. I want to be able to better express that my relationship doesn’t come with qualifiers, it’s just a relationship. Visibility matters to me and I don’t want my identity to be erased under the umbrella of being lesbian. Has anyone dealt with anything similar/ have input?

Edit: Same-sex> Lesbian for personal terminology