I'm a 44 year old man. I had same sex experiences at an early age, but the same sex attraction seemed to go away as I went through puberty. I filed it away as a "phase," and didn't think much about it over the years. My wife and I started "swinging" a couple of years ago, and have had tons of fun. A strange thing happened though, pretty early on I realized there were bisexual men out there who wanted to hook up with couples, or bisexual men in a marriage who were interested in getting together with similar couples. Now that the option was "on the table," I've realized that I do have some same sex attraction (it's weird that typing "same sex attraction" is so much easier than typing "I'm attracted to some men) and my wife is really into it.

We've had a couple of threesomes with bi males, and they have been incredibly fun. I haven't had anal sex with a guy, but I'm definitely interested - but also conflicted. Again, I'm 44 and hairy, and I'm not in the best shape. I've always been fairly attractive I think, but now I have a little belly, and it's hard for me to imagine anyone being turned on at the sight of me on all fours.

My wife and I have a date lined up Friday with a guy I met on Scruff. He's very nice, and good looking. He and my wife have also chatted, and she likes him too. She texted me this morning saying that she didn't think he wants me to top him, which I knew based on his profile (he lists top, and oral as his sex preferences.) She "jokingly" asked me if I would let him top me. I answered like I stated above, that I can't imagine anyone looking at me from that angle and being into it. She immediately responded that he has told her that he wants to, and that she really wants to see it. This has me a little fucked up. I want to, but I'm making myself anxious and worrying about everything. I know it's not progressive, but I feel like I won't look "manly" to my wife after. I'm now on hour two writing this, this post started in my mind as a simple question about "hygiene and presentation," has turned into something else, lol.

So, after all that, I really do have maybe a simple question. Before hooking up with our first couple, my wife insisted on "cleaning me up" a little. She waxed the patches on my back, and the little sprigs on the top of my shoulders. She trimmed up the pubic area, waxed the base of the peen, and she waxed the "grundle" region. She waxed the butt crack and even the cheeks which aren't crazy hairy to begin with. So, would this be weird to someone who is potentially about to top me? Would having a moderately hairy outer ass make having a waxed crack look strange? I feel like it's more hygienic, and not having hair would make it easier to be fresh and clean, so to speak.

TLDR: would a hairless butt crack be weird if the rest of me is hairy?

Also: I feel like I have a good idea about interior (anus, rectum) cleansing, I know that I'd have to really feel good about it beforehand. Does anyone have any tips about the outer area? Sometimes, even after a shower, I still feel like there's an odor. It's not exactly fecal, but I'm worried it'd be unsexy. Thank you.