Hi all,

I'm 23, male and bi. Its something that I've always known, but I haven't come out about it with anyone. For me it was always a date women and hookup with guys type of thing so it didn't matter for me to be out, since I could just pass as straight and then do what I want as discreetly as I wanted. However, I've come to realize in the last little while that I really want to be able to explore a full relationship with both men and women. Inside, I know that this realization is what I really want, but I'm scared to open up and be honest about it with the people in my life. I've really been stressed out about this, and its taking its toll on me. I'm feeling anxiety and panic attacks for the first time in my life. My usual tactic for dealing with negative thoughts and stress is to keep busy with things, but I've added so many things to my plate (school, work and other initiatives) that I'm starting to get burnt out. At night, I just end up crashing hard and then having to deal with all the negative thoughts and no energy to do something to keep my mind occupied.

My family always told me growing up that they'd "accept me, no matter what", however I'm not certain that this is the case. My parents say they support gay rights, but they are visibly disgusted when exposed to it (e.g. making a groan of disgust when something gay happens on Game of Thrones). My brother is more vocal about his dislike of LGBT people, and he's even spat in my face for even suggesting that Trans people should have their rights protected.

My friends are some of the most progressive, accepting people that I've ever met. I know that if I came out to them that they would support me no matter what I needed, but I'm still scared that the dynamics of our friend-group would change, and I really don't have many other supportive people in my life that I can trust.

What do I do?