Hey everyone,
I want to share a story about something that happened to me recently. It made me think about why some lesbians seem to dislike straight men, while bi women are often more open and friendly.

It was at a party, and I was in a group conversation. Things were going fine, and the vibe was chill. At some point, the topic of relationships came up, and I made what I thought was an innocent comment. I said something like, “Why do lesbians hate straight guys so much?”

The reaction was immediate—and not what I expected. One of the women in the group, who I later found out was a lesbian, snapped at me: “Because straight guys don’t know how to mind their f**ing business.”*

I froze. I wasn’t trying to offend anyone, i am the one who supposed to react to her offence . I tried to explain myself " I’m just curious, that’s all” but she cut me off. “Curious? Try living your whole life being hit on by guys who don’t take no for an answer or treated like your sexuality is some kind of joke. Then maybe you’ll get it.”

I wanted to argue that I wasn’t that guy, that I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. But then I stopped myself. She wasn’t just reacting to me she was reacting to a lifetime of experiences I couldn’t begin to understand so i just let her talk .

What surprised me was how another woman in the group, who I later found out was bi, handled it differently. She didn’t jump in to defend me or smooth things over—she just gave me this knowing look, like she could tell I was processing what just happened. Later, when we were alone, she said something like, “Now you know why some lesbians are like that. They’ve got their reasons, trust me.”

I still don’t think my question was meant to be harmful, but I understand now why it came across the way it did.

It also made me think about why bi women might approach things differently. Maybe it’s because they’ve had a mix of experiences with straight men—both good and bad—and they’re used to navigating that middle ground.