I’m in a same sex marriage in a conservative part of a conservative state. I have no idea what the future holds for my marriage.

I’ve got friends that I love who are trans and who are undocumented and who are birthright citizens from undocumented parents. I’m so fucking terrified for them. I know trans kids who are already struggling. What the fuck is next?

I’m scared of our community tearing itself apart because of minute differences. I’m scared of oligarchs controlling all of the American media and major institutions. I’m terrified that I don’t have any faith that 99% of the politicians I thought maybe would do something will do anything at all. I’m terrified that my country is being run by nazis and that my state is being run by corrupt conservative fundamentalists.

I’m scared as an openly queer person in a place where folks think I don’t belong. I just want to love my fucking wife. I want to hold her hand without fear. I want to be able to say ‘my wife’ in small talk without worry that there will be harassment or bigotry.

We’ve had people tell us we inspire them for being open and I am glad but fuck man, I just want to exist and be safe. I want the oppressed people in my nation to be safe. I want to be in a world where just existing in a marriage doesn’t need to be an inspiration because it’s just as normal as anything itself.

I hate this. I’m so worried. I feel sick. I don’t even know if I’ll legally have a wife in a few years. If we’ll have fair elections. I don’t even think we have those now. I don’t know what to do besides fight. But I’ve got no clue how to fight.

Please remember that queer love is defiance and pride started as a riot.