In short: She feels as if she is not enough and will never be able to satisfy me because she doesn’t have boy parts

I (35M/Heteroromantic) am in a year long monogamous relationship with my partner (27F/ who ironically describes herself with the characteristics of also being Heteroromantic).

We met under the assumption that I was straight and months later, she was the first person I opened up and came out to. I’ve never had a sexual encounter with a man, just enjoy what I see on the internet. She is very firm on being monogamous and admits to being cognizant of when she starts to objectify other women and intentionally shift herself to reel it back in, and move on.

Additionally, I know that I meet the criteria for a porn addiction and consistently struggle to abstain from it with a reduction of relapses over the past 3-4 years. I communicated this with her when we started dating because she had multiple exposures in the past that left a distaste for it. She clearly communicated her boundary that she doesn’t want to be with a partner who watches it and I think it’s a good fit for me to maintain accountability.

We are both in therapy for different reasons and my counselor uses his expertise with alcohol and substance abuse to articulate my issue with an addictive cycle.

This week I had a relapse with gay porn and told my partner the next day out of shame, guilt, and not wanting to take another secret to the grave. Especially with her, because she’s awesome and we’re just an amazing match for one another to navigate life with.

Coming out to her, this recent relapse, gaining ED after a major life stressor (currently have viagra prescription) and a few other things, she feels as if she is not enough and will never be able to satisfy me because she doesn’t have boy parts. This is affecting trust and mostly our sex life.

We’re both into kink, but I think the idea of using toys on me validates and solidifies her thoughts of not being enough.

How did any of you navigate your partner not feeling like enough because they were the opposite gender in a monogamous relationship?