So I’ve known I’m bisexual since about middle school. I have ignored that part of my self for many reasons and fear of coming out. My 20s have been really hard with just trying to figure out who I am in general and a huge struggle for me has been how to dress. I have always been pretty uncomfortable in super girly clothes. I’m insecure about my body and growing up in the 2000s, all women’s clothes were skin tight and super revealing.

I’m loving how the trends are now a much baggier style. I’ve slowly shifted from skinny jeans to baggy jeans and I’m loving it. I also got into hiking last year and I loveee hiking clothes. They’re just so comfortable. What I’m getting at is, I’ve discovered that I really like a more masculine style. I’ve said for years that I wish I could shop in the men’s section.

Here’s where the crisis is coming into play, I am in a relationship with a man and I’m afraid that if I change my style to be too masculine that he won’t like it. He says he’s fine with the clothes I’ve started wearing but I’m still worried. Last night we went out with friends wearing almost the same out fit. Kaki cargos, sweatshirt, and skate shoes. I LOVED my outfit and actually felt super attractive for once. But I still worry. I also bought women’s boxers recently and don’t know how I ever wore thongs my whole adult life.

Has any other women who are dating men gone through anything similar? I fear that my boyfriend fell in love with a relatively girly girl and now I’m telling him I’m actually queer and don’t want to wear a skirt ever again.

This may seem like a silly issue but it’s giving me anxiety!