Quick back story: I (39F) was always attracted more to women growing up, but thought it was just from an artistic standpoint. In HS and college I exclusively drew and painted naked women, claiming the curves made them more beautiful to translate to paper. Then I kept a close circle of friends where all the girls would make out while drunk, so it was normalized. I had lots of threesomes, always being more into the woman than the man. I turn 40 in a few weeks, and have always ended up dating or marrying very sexually selfish (and overall bad for me) men. After being single on purpose to work on myself for 3 years post divorce, I decided I was only going to date women. Then one of my closest friends from middle & HS moved back to town after his divorce and we reconnected. Which included sharing we always had a crush on each other. So in August we started dating and it's proving to be everything I always longed for but never had from a partner emotionally, mentally, and physically. The fun part is he is pan and his closest friends are gay men, so we get each other on a much deeper level than any ex who fetishized my desire for women. We've discussed being open to ENM or something along the same vein in the future because he said he doesn't want me to have to give up being with women if I don't want to. Most days I feel much more queer than I ever realized, despite being in a straight-presenting relationship. But I absolutely adore being in love with him, and love being loved for who I am without exceptions.