This is going to be a long one so I want to thank my readers for sticking with me to the end. I’m only just learning how to be bisexual so if it seems like I’m naive and unschooled, that’s exactly how I really am.

So I’m (AMAB enby, 35) a baby queer. I’m well into my thirties but I haven’t been long in this realization. I’m gay, sure, but I’ve never been with men (zero experience), and my attraction to women is many orders of magnitude greater than my attraction to men. If I had a choice between being in a monogamous relationship with a man or a woman for the rest of my life, I’d choose a woman every time. My interest in men pretty much extends to MF couples only, so I would never be interested in men unless they came with a woman.

The biggest headache I’ve experienced, since I became aware that I was bisexual, is how to let women know that I want them too. They all seem very quick to assume I couldn’t want them. I’m learning the ropes about how to tell my social set about my orientation and I don’t know the best way to do it.

I’ve never had a Real Conversation™️ about my orientation or my gender identity with the friend in question. For a little background, I was born male but always felt more like a woman with male parts. My presentation is confused and complicated, and I think it influences my issue with my friend. I’m a large muscular body builder with an extremely androgynous face, and the clothes I wear are often a mix of male/female styles. My woman friend—who I think I’m in love with—calls me queen, girl, sister (and I swoon when she does) in a way that seems to indicate she believes that my flirting or coming on to her is a remote possibility. She touches me all the time and is completely unguarded and unperturbed when I do the same, almost as if she just regards me as a girlfriend.

EDIT: Can you please keep your downvotes to yourselves? Isn’t this sub supposed to be safe and welcoming? I’m only looking for advice, not your disapproval/shaming.