I’ve struggled with my sexuality and struggled fitting in with “the guys” my entire life. And I was always told by my father to “not be a sissy, be a man” but then in 2020 my dad came out as initially attracted to transwomen and later married a much much younger transwoman. All this while I was still trying to understand my own identity, which immediately made me question my whole experience growing up as having been socialized by a closeted man with his own internalized homophobia or whatever he was carrying. Now I’m like not sure that my attractions are even my own or if I’m the product of having absorbed the same confusion he was experiencing. I’m have no problem with queerness at all, but it does feel frustrating to think that there might have been a lot of avoidable heartache and confusion if he hadn’t tried to make me the straightest most man man through his projected fears.

Does anyone have any similar experience or anything or like is there someone who can tell me what’s going on?