TL; DR--This is just an apreciation post for my IRL support system.

I came out back on Black Friday to Queer Committee Member #1 (my sibling).

Then, an hour later to QCM#2 (QCM#1's spouse and decades long partner) about an hour later.

Then, a week later, to QCM#3 (best friend, pseudo-sibling), and told them to loop in their spouse and long term partner, QCM#4. I confirmed they knew the following week.

QCM#4 is super chill: but we haven't had any conversation of depth. Great for the jokes, great as a space to help QCM#3 decompress/gossip. I am ABSOLUTELY comfortable with her knowing. I would NEVER have added her to the committee if they weren't married to QCM#3.

QCM#3 legitimately thought I was a bit asexual. (I wish I was asexual. If anything, I might be hypersexual.) I also have a crippling terror when dealing with sexy people. But, QCM#3 posits that, logically, I can't be sure I'm bi unless I "collect more data for science." Much to QCM#4's relief, QCM#3 was NOT hitting on me: rather, advocating I should hit on anything unmarried that passes the Harkness Test. Otherwise I'm only Bi "in theory." He's also just always wanted to play "Have you met FreshBaudelaire?" ever since they started that in HIMYM. Now QCM#3&4 are excited that they could have twice the targets.

QCM#2 has been enthusiastic. She loves all things queer. She loves movies and tv shows about the community. She asked me which men I find attractive, and when I added Matthew Bohmer she shouted "I KNEW IT!" Well that makes one of us! She's also desperate for me to enter a "ho era," for which I am NOT AT ALL READY. If they didn't respect me, I'd be legitimately worried that QCM#2-4 would set up tindr/Grindr profiles and catfish potential mates behind my back. But, QCM#2 (and all) THANKFULLY respect my boundaries. She also lets me text her when I watch supernatural with my grandma (not on the committee) and NOW SUDDENLY I REALIZE HOW SEXY THE MAIN ACTORS ARE, MY GOD HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE! My text threads with her sound like a twelve year old's diary.

And despite the side-interests, they've all been extremely supportive: but the real star has been QCM#1. He's the only one who seems like he lacks an inherent personal interest in my new epiphany. Still, while he doesn't want to try to play matchmaker (or prevent me from stealing his husband, like QCM#4 has always joked), he also advises I explore romantic options. We had a really long talk on the subject. He's always been supportive, and he's never really tried to push me out of my comfort zone with women in the past. But he expressed the hope that I would try to be more open to the possibility of finding love, ya know? At the end of the day, they all want me to be happy. But QCM#1 doesn't want to gamify my struggles with this phobia. And I'm certainly not there, and I may never make it there: but it really has been making me think lately.

They've all been rolling with the jokes though, and I really appreciate that, too. Maybe I'll add more committee members, maybe not. Maybe I'll fall in love with a man or other male presenting partner, and just come out to the world. Maybe I'll fall for a woman, or female presenting partner, and the only other person I'll ever tell will be her. Maybe I'll never get over my hurdles, and I'll never find love. And that's ok, too.

But in the meantime, both to process these new feelings and to be more comfortable with my old ones, it's really nice to have a Queer Committee.

Thanks for reading; and whether you're in your own Ho era, whether you're collecting data, or whether you're just a struggling metaphorical vegan like me, I appreciate having this subreddit as a virtual outlet.

And I hope you can have your own queer committee, too.