I have had fantasies my whole life and only ever acted on them once when I was 19... and then once very recently (I'm in my mid-40s now). Both times were just handjobs but I really wanted them to be more, they just didn't work out that way. Thing is, I feel like my situation is a little strange and there are a few questions I have but nobody to ask - I don't really know where else to ask them, so here goes... I'm going to dive in even if it means revealing things I haven't told anyone and hopefully I'll get some answers.

First thing, I feel like this might be a stupid question, but is it common for men (even when they know I'm straight and don't know I fantasize about other men - pretty much nobody knows) to be very forward, sexually suggestive, hit on you, and explicitly proposition you? I fit a very masculine profile, so I would think this would be rare, but this has been pretty common for me.

Both men I know and strangers will hit on me in very, very explicit ways. I hear a lot that I have dick sucking lips... a little less often but still pretty frequently I hear that I look like I would really love taking a hard cock or that I look like I'd be really good riding cock... it isn't uncommon to hear that I should find out for myself what it's like to have a man use me or that I can't know I don't like cock until I have one in me... I get called things that would make most whores blush and have my ass fondled... and a whole lot of much more explicit things and propositions.

I can't imagine I'm doing anything to attract this kind of attention, but it happens way too often and they always seem to think I should be taking cock, never the other way around... the strange thing about that is I only ever fantasize about exactly that. In my fantasies I'm on my knees, or bent over, or... well, you get the idea. When men hit on me like this I get crazy turned on but I think I hide it well, and most times it isn't in a sexually charged place, so I just don't know why it happens so often.

The other thing I wanted to ask is if other guys find that this is kind of a latent fantasy they wouldn't act on until something specific happens... and then it's almost like a compulsion. Like is there one situation that changes the fantasy into something you have to act on?

The first time I gave a handjob was the night after a girlfriend broke up with me, telling me she'd been sleeping with a friend of mine for months. Something about imagining her getting fucked by another guy made me want to be in her place... I have no idea why. The next night I was at a house party to try to take my mind off it and stayed until just me and the guy who threw the party were left. I never met him before that night but I didn't really want to go home... even though he'd been hitting on and propositioning me and had groped my ass a few times during the party. Anyway, we started watching porn and I ended up jerking him off, licking him a little, and getting my lips covered in his cum.

Much more recently - last month - my wife decided she felt too guilty and confessed to nine affairs she's had while we've been married, and a one night stand three days before our wedding. She let me ask anything I wanted and I had her describe every detail I could get... it sucked, but it was also a turn on, except... it wasn't as much her getting fucked that turned me on, it made me imagine myself in her place and that is what turned me on.

After she told me, I posted on a few subreddits looking for someone to meet, and talking to some guys but I haven't met any of them. I did, however, find myself shopping for last minute Christmas stuff and the thought occurred to me that it might feel good to wear panties so I went to a lingerie store and picked out a really slutty pair of panties. A guy in line in front of me saw what I was buying and after I bought them he was waiting outside the store... and told me how I'd look really good in the panties I bought, especially sucking his cock... and I ended up in his car in the mall parking lot jerking him off.

The huge difference is when I was 19, that one time was enough and it just became a fantasy again, so I didn't do anything again. This time, feeling his cock and licking up his cum made me want it so much more... and I don't know why... but I think it might be how much she's cheated on me this time or that I'm staying with her. Has anyone else had the urge to take cock start or get really urgent after being cheated on or is this just me??