So I have recently realized when I watch porn I focus mainly on the woman... But I have heard this is very common for straight women, especially since the literal camera is usually focused on the woman. So I started experimenting with lesbian porn (but the real shit this time). And I really liked it! But again, I hear a lot of straight women watch lesbian porn lol. So now I am back to square one!

I am attracted to women sexually, I would be interested in being intimate with a woman in theory. And the idea of dating a like-minded girl sounds really nice AGAIN IN THEORY. But how the hell do I know if it's real!? I don't wanna do online dating and waste some poor girls time! Plus I am demisexual so it's an added layer of complexity. Like do I wanna fuck a random girl I find hot, no. But I also absolutely do not wanna have sex with a random guy either. But it takes quite a bit of time for me to warm up to anyone!

I have been in one relationship with a man, but he was extremely effeminate with waist length hair and a very feminine face. I was always very interested in dressing him in women's clothes and putting makeup on him?!

I am just confusedddd! And also I have never really had a crush on a girl, but besides my previous boyfriend I don't tend to have crushes on guys. I mainly just find them attractive and then go okay lets go on some dates and see if we mesh.

I just find women so beautiful and sexy and the idea of loving one sounds sooooo nice but what if I get in the position to do it and my gut feels wrong! I don't wanna lead anyone on.