I (cis F) identify as bi but I constantly have doubts about my love for women. Because of my very conservative, religious and heteronormative background, I constantly feel like my love for women is something I chose and enforced on myself because I hate men and my brain still can't fully comprehend and normalize lesbian sex.... However, I'd like to know if this is proof that I do have attraction towards women. All my childhood I've only/mainly had obessions on female classmates or female teachers. One of them is almost proof of my attraction towards women because I vividly remember the intensity of my feelings that I couldn't explain and I knew that it wasn't just friendship. So at the end of the year I told her that I was obsessed with her and loved her without even understanding my feelings for her. I knew this "love" was abnormal but I never had the thought that two girls could ever be together so I was confused asf. And I vividly remember "choosing" to have a crush on her brother and forcing my brain to love him because that way I'd marry him, live close to her for the rest of my life as she'd be my family and I'd fantasize about growing old with her and raising children whith her presence . These obessions happened a lot with different girls and teachers but this one intrigues me the most because although I was religious, I did notice how weird and confusing my feelings were and the fact that I wanted to marry her brother so I can be with her is proof it can't just be "friend crush". What do you guys think ?