I’m sort of going through an identity crisis right now and I guess I wanted to share to see if anyone here can relate to me.

I’ve identified as a lesbian since high school, and I’m in college now. Throughout my entire life I had never really been interested in men or wanted to be with them, until recently when I’ve started to form a crush on one of my teachers. It’s extremely confusing to me because I’ve never felt any kind of sexual or romantic desire for any man before, at all. I wondered whether it was because I had a very specific type in men, because he’s a little more feminine, artistic, and more liberal which I feel like is hard to come by at least where I’m from (red state). With women, I don’t really have a type and I just love them all. So, I figured that I just have a preference for women and the reason I haven’t found any man attractive is because I haven’t really found one to be attracted to.

After this revelation, I started seeing things in men that I hadn’t before. A month later, I hooked up with a guy for the first time whom I was pretty attracted to. I wanted to have sex with him, but after it all happened I felt really uncomfortable and ashamed of myself? I went to the bathroom and cried, because I just felt like it wasn’t me. This made me even more confused because then I questioned whether I’m really a lesbian after all, but at the same time, that’s not possible because I was still attracted to a man either way. I just don’t know what I am lol. Is this normal for bi people to experience? Does this mean maybe I’m just like 95% attracted to women?