alking to other bisexuals, I noticed there’s a similar pattern: many of them don’t feel attracted 50/50. And when a bisexual person is openly out, in most cases, they end up dating someone of the same sex. Is this common for you too?

I only really embraced being bisexual when I was 26, and I’m currently 27. I haven’t had many experiences because I’m very shy. Most flirting from men made me uncomfortable, and I ended up kissing or getting into something more intimate with women. When I kissed a man, it was because I genuinely wanted to, but with women, it was always them taking the initiative.

Before that, people would ask me if I was straight, and I never knew how to answer because I never felt straight. I don’t know if I’m 50/50 because my feelings are a complete mess. (A lot of people mention the “confused bisexual” stereotype, but some days I don’t feel attraction or desire for men, only for women. Other times, I do feel attracted to men, but my attraction to women never disappears.)

I don’t think I’m a lesbian because I liked kissing the guy I kissed, and I’ve genuinely liked a male friend before. I just hate when I feel like a man is only trying to use me. Did I ramble too much and make it messy?

I’m curious—do you see yourselves as 50/50, or do you think it changes over time like it does for me?

And when it comes to feeling romantically and sexually attracted, do you feel like the percentage is higher for one gender than the other?

Aesthetically, I find women more beautiful, but that doesn’t bother me much because, when I like someone, it goes far beyond looks. Similar interests make me like someone a lot, and I end up finding them more aesthetically pleasing. On the other hand, when I don’t like someone, I find them unattractive—even if they’re considered very above average.

I don’t see myself as a romantic person. I really value acts of service and quality time. Expressions of affection like sweet words or excessive compliments often come across as insincere to me, especially in the early stages of something. Even in a relationship, I think I’d feel very uncomfortable with such gestures in front of other people.

Do you feel like your attraction percentages change depending on the gender? I feel like, as a woman, I’m harsher with men, but I’m not that way with women