So I (M27) identify as straight but is obsessed with bisexuality for some reason. I really hope it doesnt come off as me fetishizing it, its really not about that for me. I just sort of really relate a lot to bisexual characters, people, Tiktoks, clothing styles etc. I find myself looking up to a lot of bisexual characters and people in media and still keep searching for more. I mostly relate to bisexual women for some reason too, but I dont know if that is maybe because bi men isnt as publicly common as bi men?

I dont think I find men attractive, not like I find women attractive at least, and I dont relate to gay men at all. But at the same time I find sex attractive in and of itself, and I wouldnt be disgusted by doing something with a man. Id even be open to it, if it was mostly me doing something with a penis and not really the rest of the man. But at the same time I can really admire mens bodies and I mean me questioning for myself for over a year maybe a hint that Im not completely straight. But yeah again I dont really think that I find men attractive, certainly not irl, and its mostly bi women that Ive related to online (and that Ive found at all basically that are bi).

I also suffer from some childhood SA trauma, I dont know if thats relevant but I feel like sometimes experiences from that kindof trauma overlap with queer experiences and maybe thats why I identify with bi-ness? Am I just trying to ”take back control” and therefore would ”want” to be bi? Or is there something there in my overall interest to it? I know a therapist would be the best to ask, but Id like to know other ”normal” peoples opinions too, so what do u guys think? I dont get offended❤️

Also, Im in a relationship and I would never wanna be poly, so I wont be able to try/test this out. But its killing me not knowing if I actually belong/have a community in these spaces or not. Thankful for all responses!