I know I am probably the one-millionth-and-one person to post this question, but I am so confused and the link to the "Am I bi?" post in the sidebar is broken, so I am hoping this is ok...

I am 30/F and happily married to a man who I am very much in-love with and have no intention of leaving. Although I am happy and content, my marriage limits my ability to go out into the wild and figure this out on my own. So I turn to you, Reddit.

I always thought I was straight. Albeit, not 100% straight. I always saw sexuality as a spectrum, and I suspected I fell close to the straight side, but not all the way there. But, like, 95%? I never felt any attraction to women until my early-twenties, when I had a (sexy 😳) dream about a woman. After that, I began to develop a crush on a female actor in the tv show I was watching at the time (Laura Prepon in OITNB). But I still felt like that wasn't nearly enough for me to qualify as "Bi". I felt like an imposter, and so I would preface my rants about how hot the character Alex is by saying "If I wasn't straight!"

Fast forward, and I am in my mid-twenties. I am working a customer service job, and we get a new hire. They are AFAB but had socially transitioned. He used he/they pronouns, however, physically he still appeared female. Well. It didn't take me too many shifts to realize that I had a giant crush on them. I never did anything to reveal my feelings. We were just coworkers who joked around, and occasionally texted to switch shifts. But whenever he would text me, my stomach would flip. And if I saw his name on the schedule, I would actually look forward to going in to work. Eventually I moved away, and that was that.

Fast forward again to my late-twenties. I met a female friend in school who I got along with super well. I really admired them, their opinions, their values, their style. But when they told me they were bi, I started to analyze my own feelings. I loved spending time with them. If I was single (I was married to my husband then) would I want to explore dating them? Or were they just a super beautiful and cool friend? I really didn't know.

Ok. That brings us to now. And this is going to sound like a joke, but it isn't. I recently binge watched Arcane seasons 1&2, and while I immediately had a crush on my usual type (the brooding intellectual male - #teamViktor!!) I also developed a massive crush on the very androgenous female lead, Vi. So much so that during certain -cough- scenes (if you know you know 🧁) I was blown away by how sexy I found it. But Vi presents very masculine. So.. does that even "count"?

I am so confused. My only definite "real life" crush was on my co-worker who was in the process of transitioning. I have had crushes on female tv characters. And I had a sexy dream featuring a woman. But this doesn't feel like enough to identify as "Bi".

What does this mean for my sexuality? Obviously I am happily married to a man and I have no intention of changing that. But I feel like that also drastically limits by ability to figure out what my sexuality actually is. I'm so confused. Please help :(