So I (m) live in a fairly small community made up of a mostly straights and your occasional gays here and there, but man I don't know what's going on as of late. About a month ago I had this one male fwb and every few weeks or so we'd end up hooking up and I caught feelings for him and to put a long story short he told me he was straight and not interested in a relationship

Wierdly enough it was abt a month before we stopped messing and went back to friends. Then I was completely inactive for a while until September, when I decided why not and got with a friend who was curious if he really was into men. So we hooked up a few times and I honestly think he's really hot and the first time was amazing but the second I couldn't get off and the third I felt virtually nothing.

After that i've had a few other uneventful hookups most of em ending rather uneventfully. And while yes I know this isn't necessarily the end all be all but even with gay porn I've been very unresponsive to it. Like getting hard but never off.

I still have interest but I don't know why it's the way it is, like I'll stare in the gym or on the street at men and women admiring all of their traits but when I go to try to get off or anything it's only women that consistently get me off.

I don't know if it's been because I've been by myself WAY too much lately and I've had too much time to ponder it but it's starting to become a stressful thing on my mind, especially since I still fantasize abt getting into married with men and women (predominantly men) but it just really doesn't make sense to me it's honestly tiring.