23 AFAB Bi-Gender

So basically I've gone back and forth between bisexual and lesbian and gay(ftm) and I'm so annoyed. I'm pretty positive I'm bisexual at this point and Bi-gender. but OMG does THIS get on my nerves.

I basically am mostly only sexually attracted to women right (with acceptions) So I thought I was biromantic homosexual but bro, legit EVERYTIME I get a chance to get with a woman all of my desire goes RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW and Im wishing it were a man I was talking to. But when I'm dating men (which I seem to only do) I don't actually want to be with them physically and desire women. I like the idea of sex with men but then actually doing it (which I never have cause I don't want anyone inside of me I guess) doesn't work. So then I get the chance to be with a woman because OBVIOUSLY IM A LESBIAN and ALLL the feelings suddenly die. And not die out of fear, die like completely snuffed out. Like simply the act of trying to date a girl was enough and now I'm done.

I'm frustrated on so many levels. Sexually, emotionally, mentally. I felt like maybe my lack of interest in men is just gender envy (very real possibility) but my inability to leave behind being a girl and the chance to be in a WLW relationship keeps me Femme Bi-Gender. But I genuinely can't explain the dating women thing. I literally know I like women, and the literal second I'm talking to one I'm rolling my eyes, and sighing and wishing I had a boyfriend. I thought comphet, now I'm like "wtf is wrong" this isn't comphet so my only thought?

I'm trans and scared to transition and I'm gay.

Except NOPE cause I've liked women since I was a small child. Trans in denial is a possibility but gay? No.....right?

So maybe I'm just scared to date women! And that's definitely a real possibility. If I was feeling fear that would make sense, but I legit feel nothing. Like, I feel annoyed and angry when I talk to women. I don't even wanna meet them, and I'm ready to meet a man that I'm attracted to, but I'm not attracted to men but I am but I'm not!?!!?

Y'all wtf