I used to only be gay & attracted to men, period. I was into gay culture, Grindr, the drug scene that affects lots of gay men. I built my identity around it, but, I have dated girls since elementary, sought them, and tried things with them even through highschool. I'm genuinely attracted to women & their bodies & their energy. I went through something dehumanizing and I felt repulsed by men, completely, like my manhood was questioned and it infuriated me. I don't have any romantic attraction to men anymore, it only feels sexual, inconsistent, like a substitute & gross, like I'm there for the nut then goodbye & bruh that's dehumanizing as fuck. I realize now it was always sexual, whether through my intentions or others I was with, with a search of real love, identity and community in the mix. I can't have sex anymore, it grosses me out. I used to be a hedonist all the way. I'm genuinely unattracted to men in every way, it grosses me tf out how I was, cause bro, genuinely how itI feel is like I simply snapped out of a trance I was in to realize what tf I was doing and how it was wrong. I would not wanna be tied down w a girl either. The life I wanted with another man is fucking gone, it feels fake and phony and gross, it feels like I'm dealing w grief, but also exploring myself more.