Hay im a guy new to the sub and I joined since I'm up late at night in this mental struggle for awhile now. It all started around 6 months ago now when I started questioning my sexuality. I decided I would personally label as bi. im not good with patience when it comes to these sorts of thing and I feel I have to fit somewhere. I've had alot of mental struggles that can tie into this but it's long and convoluted. I would like to note I'm 15 almost 16 and I've had a difficult road to becoming bi. I grew up in a homophobic household during my elementary years and public school didn't do any favors. I have never visited a therapist or anything so with no professional help the best explanation I could think of is just me repressing my feelings turning homophobic for years. I could go on about different things that led to me repressing it or may of reinforced it since there's a good bit but looking back I feel there's at least a few things that could be classified as signs for me being bi if shakey at best. I started questioning online after seeing femboys (I know it's stupid) from there it was kinda a rabbit hole which I kept digging. Now caught up to around 6 months ago this is where the problem began. I can't stop questioning myself. Again this has alot to do with my mental state in general but everything I do I question myself about. I've had 2 online relationships with guys around my same age. It's not been great but in these relationships I do nothing but worry I'm not really bi. Idk why but I want to be bi. Maybe it's just a thought of being not special if I don't have even just this going for me but either way I get really discouraged and mentally scattered every time I question myself. I've tried testing a few things but I get no pleasure from anything bottom related like anally and I hate the idea of topping. I just feel very narcissistic and controlling thinking abt topping. Idk why it bothers me so much seeing as I'm in one of the 2 online relationships it's like across country and were both 15 and only together 2 days but I get stressed out about stuff like this easily and it causes a real toll on the relationship. I question if I even like guys alot since I've never had any real crush or times where I thought a guy really caught my interest. Even still sometimes I think about being cuddled by a guy or enjoying a day with a guy. I'm everywhere making this post I have a headache and not in the best mindset but I need help since I get this way alot. I need solid ground to stand on so I'm not in this limbo of am I bi or not.