I thought I was more confident and ok with myself than I am. Seems all the problems in my life have stemmed from not being honest with myself. But a whole other set of problems arise from being honest with myself. Feeling like being bi is a curse for my relationship. What makes me feel comfortable and confident has the exact opposite affect on my wife. She doesn’t want anything to change, and is worried what kind of person I will become as I discover more about myself? I, for the most part, can handle being unhappy. Not as much both of us being unhappy. And certainly not my happiness coming at the expense of hers. I don’t know. Just feeling like I should go back to pretending this side of me doesn’t exist. Just push that shit down real deep and lock it away.