No shame on anyone who is not out. There are many, many valid reasons to not be out at all or to only be selectively out. I support you doing whatever makes you happy and safe.

I’ve just noticed so many threads on this sub that are essentially ‘why would I ever bother to come out?’ filled with comments of people explaining why they also wouldn’t come out. And sometimes it even devolves into sorta shaming the idea of being out as important. To a lot of people, it would sorta feel like confessing a fetish I suppose. Which again, that’s absolutely valid if you feel that way. Do you! If your bisexuality is just a strictly sexual part of your life that you’re uncomfortable with sharing broadly, I get it.

But I wanted to share my experience being really happily out. I was the type before to say ‘I’ll just come out if I ever seriously date a woman’ and well, eventually that happened! I’d come out to some close family and friends prior, but being in an outwardly queer relationship meant being more out. It was scary, but now it’s just really nice.

I ended up marrying that women, so folks absolutely pretty quickly end up knowing I’m some sort of sapphic. It doesn’t feel like it’s sharing some sexual part of me. Being bi is so much more than sex to me. It feels like being fully myself to recognize I love this woman with my whole heart.

Being out has been really great for me. It can be scary. We live in a conservative part of Texas and we don’t hide who we are. Coming out was absolutely worth it to me though.