Hey everyone, I'm a [23M] dating a [23F], and both of us are bisexual. We’ve been together for three years, and while I still love her and think she’s an amazing person, I’m feeling really conflicted.

Recently, I’ve been questioning whether I want to stay in the relationship because I feel the need to explore my bisexuality in ways that she wouldn’t be comfortable with. She’s very monogamous, and I don’t think bringing up something like polyamory or even having a bisexual threesome with another man and woman (which is a big fantasy of mine) would go over well. I’ve also been thinking about what it would be like to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend, where I could share deep emotional and romantic connections with both. But I don’t feel like I can be fully sincere with her about these desires.

I’ve had sexual experiences with men before, and part of me wants to explore that side of myself more deeply—not just physically, but emotionally. I want to have real, meaningful romantic relationships with both men and women. I haven’t told my girlfriend about my past with men, mainly because I’m worried about how she’d react, especially since those experiences involved older men when I was 18, and I was specifically looking for that.

On top of this, I’ve also started to feel like I’m falling out of love with her. I still care about her, but our relationship has become emotionally draining. She’s not very good at expressing her feelings, and it’s exhausting to always have to guess what’s going on when she’s upset. I’m someone who’s pretty open about emotions, and I’ve tried to create a safe space for her to share hers, but she tends to shut down. We’ve talked about her seeing a psychologist to help understand herself better and improve our communication, but she hasn’t taken that step, and after three years of this, I’m feeling burnt out.

I’m torn because I don’t want to make a rash decision and lose a good relationship. But at the same time, I’m struggling with the fact that I don’t feel fully satisfied or understood. I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from anyone who has navigated exploring their bisexuality while in a long-term relationship.

Thanks for reading.