I keep telling myself I’m bi, but whenever I have sex with a man, I’m the top, and I find myself disliking it more each time. There are certain physical things I’m attracted to, but i don't feel any pleasure and I only focus on their enjoyment, not mine. I thought maybe I’d prefer being submissive and bottoming, but whenever I tried, they got way too aggressive, and I won't put up with that anymore.

With trans and cis women, it’s completely different—I feel much more satisfied and comfortable. But I’m honestly tired of casual hookups. What I really want is a genuine relationship. The thing is, I just can’t picture that happening with a man. Still, the dating scene has been so rough that I feel like I hookup with men just so I don’t feel alone. I don’t know if that makes sense.