I’m a female and my whole life I have dated men. I have always found women to be so attractive but didn’t ever initiate anything. I did end up experimenting with a friend after college and it was great but haven’t been with a woman in 12 years.

Fast forward to now, my husband and I have been talking and he’s okay with me seeing other women as long as he can check our messages and that I stay open with him about feelings etc. (really he wants a 3some but knows that’s kinda hard to get so he’s ok with just me playing). I’m very thankful for him being this way. I actually did meet a girl and we have been talking for a bit and are going to go out next week. I’m so excited and so nervous at the same time, she is a 420 lover like me so I got all excited because I want to bring her flowers with a few prerolls in it for her. (I’m lame I know) But I’m also starting to worry that this may open a door I won’t be able to close. She’s so beautiful and we have so much in common. I find myself just wanting to be able to cuddle her on the couch and know about her day, more than just sexual stuff. I have been in therapy for several years and really reflecting on things in life and have always felt something missing. What if this is what’s missing? I’m also worried that if I can’t close this door then how do I navigate after? Or if my husband eventually decides he’s not into it but I find it’s what I need? None of this may make sense, I just needed to get it out somewhere and I don’t have any friends who know about this side.