I’m sure this sub probably gets people like me all the time, so I’m sorry if this is annoying. I’ve been struggling with a lot of attraction to guys, mostly feminine men. My whole life I’ve pretty much known myself as straight, but since graduating college I’ve been having a lot of not-so-straight daydreams of what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with a guy.

I try not to dwell on them, but they’ve been hitting me every day the past few weeks. I still live with my family, conservative Christians, and the last thing I’m gonna do is tell my family or someone in my church about this.

I have been struggling with intense, undiagnosed and unmedicated depression for four years now, maybe longer. I was unfortunately exposed to porn at the age of 12, and have been addicted for 10-11 years now.

I’m not sure if what’s going on is due to an increase of porn use since leaving college, and this is just some stupid thing my brain is doing to cope with loneliness or what. I still like girls and only make moves on girls so far, but I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t afford or start therapy cause I don’t have the money and can’t afford it coming out to my folks.

Any help would great. I could use a friend.