Okay, where to begin? I (32M) have typed this out and deleted it a few times. I have never shared this anywhere publicly or to any human before.. but as I get more comfortable in exploring who I am, and as I read things on this forum and on reddit, it's making me more comfortable.

When I was younger I used to jerk off with some buddies back in the day. It was all normal and we just took turns browsing some old porno mags we found and of course looking up porn sites.. or in most cases we stayed at one friend's whose parents had a jail broken satellite so we would stay up to all hours of the night watching porn. Out of the group of 6 of us, there was 3 that would do a bit more, touch like touch each other and fool around. From what I'm reading, this is fairly common for some people.

However, all these years later I still find myself always thinking back to that time. I think it really shaped who I am sexually. I have always dated and had sexual relationship with girls. Outside of those experiences I had when I was younger, I've never pursued anything with guys. I have always liked looking at the dicks in porn and I like seeing a guy cum, I have occasional watch gay porn too.

I always joke with myself and say I'm "straight with a curve". The reason being, when I see an attractive guy, I can say it and think "damn he's hot" and I really want to go up and chat or to try and recreate events from my past etc. Im just too afaird, to say anything or pursue anything.. alot of thay has to do with self-esteem too.. (I do the same with girls)... I alsl just cant see myself beinf romantically involved with a guy. Possibly just sexually....I'm also terrified to say anyting to anyone in my life or to talk about this all irl.. for fear of being judge horrible and losing friendships etc... Reading everything in the Sub has made me realize that there really isn't just a line drawn in the sand that makes you straight/gay.. it's encouraging to read.

I also will be the first to admit that I know nothing about labels or the bi/gay community etc. So I'm sorry if I don't get things quite right in terms etc.

I really don't know what I hope to accomplished by posting to be honest.. just feels good to say that I may actually be slightly bi in some type of Public forum.