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Dozens of my bisexual friends told me they aren't "seen" or "accepted" by straight or gay culture. For many years in my teens and early 20s, i thought: "well since there's a B in the LGBTQ...shouldn't we naturally accept each other?" Well, apparently not. Even being homoflexible or heteroflexible is "tabooed" by both...which shocks me alot when the Gay community does it to Bisexual men because we understand what it's like to be oppressed and have slim pickings for lovers...so why would the oppressed then start oppressing another group. It's an intricately difficult discussion and i didn't come here to start a political diatribe.
As a gay man, I coincidentally had serious relationships with guys who just so happened to ALL be bisexual. I didn't go cherry pick them...we just naturally gravitate towards each other and they were all in-person encounters.
I find it attractive that a man can enjoy both women and men and lean into their Yin or Yang energy naturally. I also found that many of my exes were quite "secure" with themselves (putting aside the discrimination from the Gay and Straight communities for a second). I'm a little more on the masculine side but i do have my feminine traits...and i love how my bisexual boyfriends loved both my masculine and feminine traits...which made me feel so *seen* and truly loved. Even though i'm not with them anymore, they have me the courage to explore my homoflexible tendencies...which I am so glad I did. I was very confindent as person after I came out as gay, but after being sexually intimate with women...my self-confidence and identity was even further reinforced in a positive way.
I have friends from all races, genders, sexes, cultures, and creeds and love being around all of it. I also enjoy the fun parts of the gay culture...but I myself do not really see myself only sticking to that culture and subscribing to the Gay norms. The culture maybe colorful, vibrant, and unapologetic to help boost the moral of the culture...but it can also be an exclusive club with mean boys all over the place. I don't subscribe to that.
I'm at an age now (mid-thirties) where I want to meet a bisexual man who wants to go steady with me, and grow together but not hold each other down. I'm mostly Asian and have dated my own race for awhile...but for the last 11 years i've dated outside my race and now I find myself very attracted to Middle Eastern men not just by looks, but my culture, and everything. I think i'm shit out of luck here since most middle eastern countries and cultures within the US are conservative and most of the bi guys i've met are not out because of cultural oppression and the ones who went against the grain and had supporting parents...I can relate because I was raised by a conservative culture and breaking free was hard but important.
To all my bisexual men out there...I see you and validate you and even defend you guys. Send me a message if you're looking for an ally, friend, pen pal, or whatever. Let's converse homie!
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