Hi there (M20, from Brazil), my first post here, just want to share some thougths, sorry for any mistakes, not an native english speaker

So, until some months ago I could swear I was assexual ( which was a lie, i made myself say to other persons to justify the fact that i haven't had any kinda of romantic and sexual relationships), since I've only had romantic and sexual atraction for 1 girl when i was 14-16 years. So after that girl moved out from the city (and i had cried a lot), I've never had that feeling again. And I have plenty of reasons to think that, low selfsteam and bullying was a key factor for that to happen.

When i was a kid I was more talkative and extrover then nowadays. After soferring from bullying, made me more introvert and less talkative, becouse of the fear of repreantion. Even though my friends from nowadays are really great and compreensive ( some are even Bisexual) i still can't come out for them or even my parents, that i know would suport me.

So, some months i go, even though i still haven't met anyone new, or started dating someone, i just felt that I want to experience love, sex, passion, with a man or a girl. I'm feeling like I'm passing by a "late adolescence". Feeling a kind of lolliness that i've haven't felt in years, but this time is diferente, it's the feeling that i want to fell in love. And as i said, bullying and low selfsteam eas really the problem, at this point I'm going to the gym, learnd to love my body, started beeing more comunicative than before, and sudently that feeling just poped out.

So the way i found out myself as a Bi man, was watching porn ( I know that it is kinda bad, etc, etc but it made me dicover things that i migth like) I've allways had crush on girls, but reacently i had a crush on boys (they may be fictional or not....). But since I've never been in any kind of romantic reltions, or even had sex or kissed someone, I still stay with that doubt "Am I really Bisexual?" .

This year I'm graduating from college and maybe next year I'm moving to other city, i use that as a "chance" to discover myself, meet new people, maybe date some. Combat my shyness, and maybe find someone that i realy love. Maybe difficulte to happen ? Maybe, but worth trying. I should mention, even though i want to fall in love, and ghave sex for the first time, it doesn't botters me that I haven't made it by now.

I gess my writing is kinda confusong but i just wrote what i was thinking, maybe someone will relate to that lets talk, anyone felt like this or similar? if you don't want to expose your self but wnat to talk you can message me. Bye bye if you read this far.