I've been bi my whole life. I love it. I feel so free to check out and be attracted to whomever catches my eye. I've been so fortunate to marry a beautiful woman who loves and supports all of me. Things have changed so much in the last 10 15 years. Hookup culture has taken root in all forms of human sexuality. No matter where you look sex is supposed to be easy, and then you ignore that partner and move on. It's no more ever present in the men/men world. I'm not judging we all have our moments, but I want flirting... kissing... to feel valued. I have up apps years ago, and with my wife's blessing, I went to physical spaces to meet men. All those men would be there with their phones on, apps running, talking about the next raunchy sex party after this function... it's so depressing. I used to make connections. It used to feel like you found one another, and it was like a brotherhood. now it's McDonald's of sex. They can't carry a conversation. They ask the same fast sex questions. the ghost you add soon as they got what they wanted. I'm sick of feeling like a disposable sex toy. I'm worth more than that... I'm going to go to therapy to address the depression I've built up over 20 years of failing to make any relationships of significance with men. But beyond that, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm honest with my wife. I'm honest with the very few men I attempt to connect with. They just talk me into sex and take a part of me away with them when they ghost me. I can't keep doing this.