I’m a bisexual man, aged 25, who started early when it came to experimenting with other guys, and so I’ve always kept a steady stream of male sexual partners. My experiences with women have come along much less frequently, and not really having a lot of experience with women was making me question my bisexuality and if I was just one of those gay dudes in denial.

My previous female partners were first and foremost my high school girlfriend who was completely uninterested in sex. I enjoyed the sex we had, but not fully because it seemed like for her it was a chore. That alone probably made me have some funny feelings about initiating sex again.

The rest, around 2-3, were one night stand type scenarios where I never had any penetrative sex with them, just a bit of manual and oral play. I sort of enjoyed these experiences, but not fully as it was a bit amateurish and we never graduated to getting to know each other’s bodies better.

Fast forward to a month ago, when somehow I was able to meet a girl completely spontaneously while at the pub with a mate. She came over to our table, I could sense her interest, and after a flirtatious evening, I brought her back to mine and we ended up having sex.

Although that first night was very affirming, it actually took us meeting another couple of times for me to finally have my epiphany and shake off those remaining pangs of doubt that I really had a “heterosexual side” to my bisexuality. This is because the first sex was a bit mediocre, the second time was quite a bit better, and the third and most recent time – oh my god, so much fun.

I don’t wanna be too self-indulgent, but this sex was so good that it almost happened by itself. One of the most affirming things was that I didn’t feel like I needed to “perform” heterosexuality, but rather it came out like a natural animal instinct. Seeing my penis actually doing what it was “designed” to do, and feeling and seeing it slide in and out of a vagina, was truly a mindblowing experience that I’d basically been waiting 8 years for since the last time. Only this time she actually wanted it, she wanted me to use my sexuality to make her feel desired and physically satiated.

And it’s done wonders for me and my self doubt. I no longer have to feel like I’m pretending when I say I’m bi: I’m proudly gay af, I love every aspect of the male body… but i now feel like I have the “evidence” to myself to say I truly have this other side to me, that intensely enjoys sex and attraction to women.

I hope this resonated with other people, and please have hope if you’re in this weird OCD cycle where you feel like you have to prove or affirm the two “sides” of your sexuality. It feels like such a weight off my shoulders.